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| So I decided to try out livejournal. Just wanted a change and since I'm lazy that's where I am.
Peace.
http://traumaticloafer.livejournal.com/
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| Well...not much has really happened so far. I saw a few movies went to El Bandido's, ( which was a lot worse than i remembered...and i usually love mexican food), and I've basically just chilled out. I'm feeling kind of guilty not doing anything though. Especially when things are so weird. But I'm not gonna stress myself out over that, that's what summer sessions are for. I was so excited too, cause i had an urge to add to my Sims, maybe purchase an expansion pack, and then I remembered that my computer sucks, and would never be able to handle it....dangggg.
An interesting thing happened today though. A friend of mine at school had invited me to an informational for her asian-interest sorority last semester, and I remember being a lil surprised and kinda honored lol-mostly because I thought it was an asian sorority. And I'm definitely not asian, but it turns out that its actually and "asian interest" multicultural organization. So she invited me to this group on Facebook for the fall rush and interests, and I've been contemplating whether or not I should join. It's not like I'm commiting or anything, but i still feel a lil weird about it. Maybe if i had more friends in the org it wouldn't feel so weird and I wouldn't feel so---out of place? but yeah...we'll see. Maybe I'll just go to the informational to support and find out more. It's weird though because I think part of my hangup is thinking that I'm gonna be the only black person in a groupwith a bunch of Asians lol (which is the case) but I was pretty much like that with white people for most of my life lol...i think i was spoiled with all the non-ghetto people in Albany...but I'll just have to see.
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| Today started off as an ok day. I was able to pry myself out of bed before 2 o'clock so I could finally deposit my paycheck, then me n my mom went to breakfast. But then we come home and my brothers sitting in the living room with some foreclosure papers that someone dropped off. I just wish this whole thing would be over with so we can get on with living our lives. And I wish my mom would stop griping about how my dad was supposed to do this and that, because you can't change the past...and her not doing anything for herself because she's waiting for HIM is just digging a deeper hole. Sometimes I wish she would just forget about all the stuff here and just go somewhere where she could start over, because she clings to everything here, even if it hurts her and keeps her from progressing. I dunno what's really going on but I do know that i probably won't be living here in the next couple months. Maybe its a good thing that I got that full year license for the apartment at school....
Otherwise, I got my grades today. Which were STUPENDOUS!!!! I went up from last semester, which I really didn't think was possible lol...I got a 3.93. Which was awesome after all the stress I went through in the last few weeks of school...I was at the point where I was sitting in front of my computer trying to write an essay and just crying because I was sooooo exhaustedddd. But it was worth it. >_< lol. But what bugs me is that I still haven't broken 3.5 on my cumulative....because I was a slacker my first year, I'm at like 3.48. What kind of junk is that? I guess that just means that I'm going to have to work hard again next year...darn...lol no I like school, well- I like having the opportunity to learn new things, like where else would i be able to learn Japanese?
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| I should be studying for my Japanese Culture and History test tomorrow. I've barely even looked at any of the material...yet have absolutely no inclination to work. I just finished a 16 page monster of a paper so I guess i'm feeling pretty much done. Also- I think the fact that the test is open book/open note is messing with my mind...Bah.
But I am super excited because as a result of me finishing my paper early (go me >_<) I get to go home on saturdayyyy. So excited. But a little sad too. Even though I'm supposed to come up here for the summer...which I'm not too happy about anymore... We'll see how that goes. Now that I think about it- writing on here is just another method of procrastination...
Oh man I had thought of the perfect mother's day gift for my mom, Broadway tickets!! And I was so excited...obviously cause I would be going with her lol...and then I realized that if I paid for everything it would come up to a little over 400 dollars...and please- I am NOT that rich. If it was 200- maybe...but no, 400...thats just depressing...no wonder they say that the theater is an "upper-class" form of entertainment. Sheesh.
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| Hmmm. So I've been really busy lately, even though I don't really have that many commitments, but I guess trying to fit a job into my schedule has proved to be harder than I originally thought.
I'm kinda mad, b/c Dell has once again disappointed me. My "adaptor" or charger for my computer is basically defunct. It's frayed and I've been having a really hard time keeping my computer charged. Not to mention that this couldn't have happened at a WORSE time, since I have 3 final essays due in less than 2 weeks.... and I don't wanna spend 70 more dollars on another cord when this computer sucks anyways. Apparently this happens to alot of Dells though. Psh.
But school does end in a few weeks, im kind of excited about that. Kind of. Life is too complicated. I wish I could just be like when i was in grade school and was like "yay! Summer!"
Something weird did happen to me today though. Well- I thought something weird today. I was with a couple of girls, and its important that i mention that they were white, So we were outside, and we saw a bunch of black frats and sororities walking....or strolling or whatever I don't know enough about greek culture to say...But today is "Tradition Day" and I'm not so sure what that's about either, but it has something to do with the national pan-hellenic council (black frat n sororities) and they stroll n stuff on campus. I dunno its an event. So I guess they were getting ready for that, and alot of them are back in the uniforms they wore while pledging even though they've crossed. And so they were "walking" (In the way they're supposed to while they're pledging) and the girls I'm with are basically making fun of them, but its not just making fun of them, its making fun of the whole thing, the whole organizations n stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Greek lover or whatever, I don't really even know that many people who are in Greeks, but at the same time I respect it. I respect the fact that these people want to become part of something bigger than them, I respect the fact that I may not understand it or know anything about it. And also, It has a deep history within the African American community, so because of that I "respect" it. But these girls were so irritating, and it made me mad because I was with people who could be so ignorant.
For so long I've tried to be the type of person who identify themselves as "Black" or "Oreo" or whatever, because I don't want certain stigma's put on me. I try to have friends in all types of ethnic groups, because I think its important to celebrate diversity, but when stuff like this happens, I feel myself getting kind of disgusted. I dunno, maybe its because I'm taking all these African American theory classes, or I'm getting hyper sensitive, or maybe I'm just a little more mature...but I'm starting to see stuff, especially in the white community- that i really don't like. And it bothers me even more because its not just with random people, it's with people who are supposed to be my "friends," and I feel like I'm doing a huge disservice not only to black people but to myself if I just stand there and allow them to talk like that, especially if I don't agree with it. What kind of person am I if I just step back and allow that kind of stuff to happen.
It's funny too because I had realized last year that most of my friends were black, so tried to make more white friends, but I am definitely turned off right now. And its not right to generalize...but still, I can't help but feel a little wary. But on the other hand, it could just be that most of the white people I meet are all tactless hicks. Not that the black community is any better either, b/c they have their own share of problems that I definitely have issue with (and that would be too much for this entry) but at the same time, I guess I'm just so upset because I'm seeing things that I didn't see before. I don't know.
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